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what should you expect from me on line?

I like to speak my mind. Most of the time I capable of filtering those thoughts so I don’t get fired, alienate a future useful contact or ally or be falsely labeled. In my circle of friends I am known as the friend who will give you an honest answer to the popular questions, ” Do I  need botox ?” or my favorite, “Do I need to lose weight and if so how much?” 

(yes you do, and about 10 pounds?)

I’m also a vault when it comes to secret keeping, but that’s another post.

My friends know what to expect from me, but my socially constructed friends, ie: @Twitter followers, as well as followers of my blog, do not. If someone is following me on @Twitter they are doing so because they are a fan of my work or they are my friends. So if I say something like “fuck this shit”, my friends won’t be surprised by my use of the best and most versatile word in the english language. But for the rest of @twitterverse sometimes my chosen form of expression, as well as my opinions are “shocking” and “unexpected”. So I thought I would take this time before my work day begins (currently 6pm for night shooting) and give those new to me in the @Twitterverse a brief tutorial on @emmacaulfield. 

Number One.

I post often and about everything. There is no through line to what I post other than the fact that if I post something it is interesting to ME. However, if you follow @emmacaulfield long enough you will notice a few patterns emerging revolving around television shows with which I am obsessed (Community, The Walking Dead, Homeland, Downton Abby, Star Trek TNG). Yes, I am a fangirl and no, I am not embarrassed about admitting that. But in general, I approach life as one long non sequitur and and my @tweets reflect this. 

Number Two.

I do respond to fans and claiming I don’t will not illicit a response from me. If I don’t respond to you it is likely for a variety of reasons. 

1. I can’t possibly respond to the roughly 50,000 of you wonderful kids. That would be a full time job and I already have one. 

2. I respond to what I feel like responding to at the time. There is no rhyme or reason to what I respond to. There is no discernible pattern and there are no chosen days for @replies  I do read all @mentions though so trust that I received your shout out. 

3. If you call me by a character name I will not respond to you. ever. I am not some stuck up celebrity. I am not a rag hound. I am not false in any way. I am a real person and would like to be addressed by my name. If that is difficult for you then you should @follow someone else. Still friends?

4. You are likely trying to relive the past and I am interested in the present and the future. Of course what I just typed is now the past so what IS the past right? The past is the present is the future and if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound, and two wrongs don’t make a right and….zzzzzzzzzzz

Number Three. 

I like my fans and I genuinely want to hear from you because my fans are rad and loyal and have shown up for me time and again. But because you guys come from all over the world there are sure to be differing opinions about what is good and what is not and what is right and what is wrong and who wins The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?(Obviously Stones). I have opinions and they might not be yours. I may offend you. You may fall in love with me or you may want to burn an effigy of my face. If you find yourself disillusioned because you came to @emmacaulfield looking for “Anya” or “Susan Keats” or “Emma Caulfield” or “Caitlin Green” and you found me, then please just unfollow and no hard feelings. There’s no need to be rude, or mean spirited or state the obvious that I am in fact ” so different from your character(blank)”. If you are an asshole I will block you. The end. As Rick Grimes said, “this is not a democracy”. 

Okay that’s it for today’s tutorial. This was super fun and I look forward to our time together and all the crazy spooning that is sure to come. Deuces!

Filed under assholes etiquette rules twitter

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and then I get this in my inbox

"I really don’t think you have to be worried about being identified forever for something I can barely remember being a part of. The world is forever in your debt for exposing us all to the true dangers of bunnies. Bunnies aren’t just cute like everybody supposes. They’ve got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses."

That was in response to what I wrote roughly 30 minutes earlier. see below. 

Trust me I have fear. Mainly of being identified forever for something I can barely remember being a part of…not unlike being happily married in your present life and constantly having to talk about the boyfriend who cheated on you on high school….kind of like that…”

CONCLUSION. some people understand irony. Also, some people are dicks. 

Filed under assholes irony